the reason why my brain has been freaking out for the last three days

Sophocles Symposium: Women in Sophocles
Time: 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM, Nov 16
Location: Library LI 120
The UVU Honors Program Presents: Women in Sophocles presented by Dr. Chris Long from Penn State University and Dr. Marina McCoy from Boston College.

3:00 pm STUDENT PANEL
"Sophocles and Freud: The Tragedy of Mind" by KRISTEN ARGYLE.
"Feminine Humanity" by KELSEA PARK

4:00 pm CHRISTOPHER P. LONG
Associate Professor of Philosophy
Director of Graduate Studies in Philosophy
The Pennsylvania State University
"A Father's Touch, A Daughter's Voice: Oedipus and Antigone at Colonus"

and MARINA B. McCOY
Associate Professor of Philosophy
Fitzgibbons Chair of Philosophy
Boston College
"Exile and Blindness in Oedipus the King and Oedipus at Colonus"

humility.

ive had a dosage of humility, a piece of humble pie if you will?. there is a strange connotation with humility, as if it is similar to a reprimand. I feel that there is more too it. humility can be beautiful. there is something paradoxical in the idea that through realizing your own insignificance, your connection with God is strengthened and you too become greater.--(like a Socratic claim to know nothing). in my life i struggle in a strange dance between humility, pride, and fluctuating levels of self esteem. It seems like the three are always stepping on the others' toes. But isnt that what we are here for? we need to learn the steps, fall, get up, fall again, practice, so that we can keep dancing into the eternities.

stacia.. and co. : thank you for your dear friendship, for sharing and helping me grow so much. you have strengthened my testimony immensely.

Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.----‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?

hitched

i like the phrase referring to marriage when you say "hitch your wagon to mine" it used to bother me as i imagined two hicks with straw in their mouth holding a pitch fork. but now that i think about it i like it. because it is based on the assumption that you will still be moving forward, progressing, but now you are connected and working together equally towards what lies ahead. congratulations dear friend. im excited to see where your wagons go :)

20

im turning over a new leaf. im now entering a new phase of my life. i feel calm. time passes, years go by. it happens on its own, regardless of whether i want it to stop, speed up, or slow down. im ok with it though. i just sit back and enjoy this time ride. if i dont stress about moving forward or moving backward then i can enjoy this vantage point of perspective. looking forward, looking back. life. its such a relief and comfort to know that there is a plan. that this journey through time is preordained, that my father in heaven is aware of ME and my steps through time. im not just wildly careening through time and space. i have a purpose, i have a goal. and i have the means to get there.

Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating...... wow good luck

Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia- Fear of hell..... i have this. i dont know who doesn't
honestly

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words... haha the irony in this is just funny

new blog hobby

congratulations. you few followers of this channel into kelsea's mind. from now on. every time i post i will provide, what i consider to be quite humorous, an insight into the realm of insanity. phobias. yup the list of phobias are never ending and i am so amazed and amused at the off-the-wall phobias that people have. but you know.. to each his own. and sadly there are a few of these phobias that i might very well have. so here you go. phobia number one

Bufonophobia= fear of toads.

i would suggest that all you bufonophobiacs stay clear of swamps.

Tocophobia= fear of pregnancy or childbirth.

i am deffffffffff a tocophobiac. haha

three posts in one day? deal

a few days ago my roommate (who has been on a philosophy kick) asked me if i was an individualist. i thought. of course i am. i believe that every human being is inherently individualistic, however, it is those that realize this that receive the title "individualist".
so there is my two cents

details in the fabric-thanks jason

the other day as i was putting mascara on (with my mouth hanging open and looking like a goof of course) i was contemplating my life. my mind was on a strange track but i liked it. i was thinking of my future in an entirely new perspective. I was putting my "what if"'s and "when"'s in terms of, somewhat inconsequential, routine advancing steps in my life. For example, will i be happy the next time i wear this shirt? who will i spend most of my minutes talking to on my next phone? who will i be writing about in my next journal? It was interesting to think that these regular changes in my daily activities absorb the color of my life at any given moment and that they are like tally marks in my life path.

falling

its fall. i love the fall. this is my prescription for all of you bummers who are regretting the pass of summer.
drive up provo canyon. do it. and actually get out of your car. smell the air. see the vast variety of fall colors. THE LEAVES! wow. take a deep breath. and most importantly give a hearty salute to these leaves, tell them thank you for all the hard work they have done creating oxygen and energy for us. salute them on their final lap where they exhibit their last ounce of brilliance with a blast of color. they know how to go out with a bang. celebrate fall. embrace the upcoming winter.
love, kelsea

fear of sneezing?

so maybe i have anxiety. and maybe i overreact at times. or get super anxious for silly reasons. well. here is one of them.
lately... i have been sneezing a whole bunch.
sometimes when i am driving i get the all to frequent urge to sneeze.
this is when the fear comes in. Really its silly, and your probably wondering why i am wasting a blog post on this but i feel like it is a big deal. Because when you are driving and then out of no where you have to sneeze, it could be right in the middle of a lane change, or a turn, or a light turning red. but it doesn't matter because as nature requires your eyes snap shut and for those split seconds who knows what could happen, AND if you happen to have a powerful sneeze as i do you might even convulse throughout your body and shake the steering wheel in the process. to me this situation is all to dangerous and unpredictable.

this is for you Mac

someone..... hem hem. kenz. told me that i aught to put more photos of myself on this here. so. here are some of those typical prideful take pictures of yourself moments. haha who doesnt do this?
kels

dreamin'

today i started a dream journal. im excited, but also a mixture of nervous and anxious, for this endeavor. (Nervous and anxious might seem synonymous, but in this instance i felt like they were both applicable). So this morning.... in my all too exciting music appreciation class, i wrote a brief summary of what i could remember of my dream last night (making a point to go to bed last night with the purpose of waking up with remembrance of my dreams). I tried to take from it what i could and somewhat analyzed it for significant content, meaning, or message. but mostly i was disappointed and embarrassed at my strange, but not out of the ordinary, dream. Although it was really interesting so see how this can be a wonderful opportunity to be introspective, grow, and see myself in a different light. I am going to keep doing this and we will see how it goes :)

a;lksdjg;laksdnbg;kjaf

so i have a new place of residence as of saturday. started school. loving half of school and hating the other half. hung out with my sister annie last night and had such a blast. liking my roommates. got to see my friend kendel again which was so so wonderful and warmed my heart. saw my friend jaime again which was also the spice of my day and week. pretty much im just mixed up in life. serendipitously met mckenzie and found out we are neighbors! so happy about that. went grocery shopping with dearest tawny and hit up some zupas. be proud of us because we purchased relatively healthy items. and got to squeeze in some time with Jesse and Steven before i started school. day by day my life changes. in little ways. in big ways. in ways i dont even notice or understand. who was i yesterday? who am i today? who will i be tomorrow?
kelsea

Oprah would make a good mormon :) haha. love this:

Be a queen. Dare to be different.
Be a pioneer. Be a leader.
Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity
will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly
toward the challenge.
Take it on! Be a truth seeker and rule your domain,
whatever it is--your home, your office, your family
with a loving heart.
Be a queen. Be tender.
Continue to give birth to new ideas
and rejoice in your womanhood. . .
My prayer is that we will stop wasting time
being mundane and mediocre. . .
We are daughters of God--here to teach
the world how to love. . .
It doesn't matter what you've been through,
where you come from, who your parents are
--nor your social or economic status.
None of that matters.
What matters is how you choose to love,
how you choose to express that love through your work,
through your family,
through what you have to give to the world. . .
Be a queen. Own your power and your glory!
~Oprah

I read this today in Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf. Im liking this book. its a tough read but i like her different style of writing, and the way it makes me think and see the world differently. Here is one example:

Clarissa once, going on top of an omnibus with him somewhere, Clarissa superficially at least, so easily moved, now in despair, now in the best of spirits, all aquiver in those days and such good company, spotting queer little scenes, names, people from the top of a bus,. . .--Clarissa had a theory in those days--they had heaps of theories, always theories, as young people have. It was to explain the feeling they had of dissatisfaction; not knowing people; not being known. For how could they know each other? You met every day; then not for six months, or years. It was unsatisfactory, they agreed, how little one knew people. But she said, sitting on the bus going up Shaftesbury Avenue, she felt herself everywhere; not "here, here, here"; and she tapped the back of the seat; but everywhere. She waved her hand, going up Shaftesbury Avenue. She was all that. So that to know her, or any one, one must seek out the people who completed them; even the places. Odd affinities she had with people she had never spoken to, some woman in the street, some man behind a counter--even trees, or barns. It ended in a transcendental theory which, with her horror of death, allowed her to believe, or say that she believed (for all her scepticism), that since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that,. . . perhaps--perhaps.

I love this idea. i had such a connection to it. i think in this way so much. and i have these odd connections with people i haven't even met, and i feel that sometimes my soul can take residence in a place or a moment. And im so grateful for my knowledge of The Plan and of eternity, and that, through the atonement our souls can "be recovered".

time

i have always been fascinated by time. its so incomprehensible. its so unworldly how time moves, how it can change pace from fast to slow, and how when you look at it from different angles (forward/backword etc.) it can change. its all about perception. well here is one way to look at time and i was blown away by it.

http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf

my brain is still trying to wrap itself around all of these things. that our world is connected by time, by events and by moments that are happening right now. everwhere or somewhere.

"the power which adds the supreme flavour to existence,--the power of taking hold of experience, or turning it round, slowly, in the light."- Virginia Woolf Mrs. Dalloway

alone time. i like alone time, i need it. when i am just so overwhelmed or distraught and i need time to think i find a way to get some alone time, usually in the form of a walk, drive, or bike ride. the funny thing as that once i am finally alone with my thoughts and able to think things over.... thats when i dont think of anything. i just dont think. my mind literally just freezes. sometimes i try to break the ice to get to the core of my problems and work them out but my mind wont let me.. or i just dont want to face them. so i linger in this no-mans-land between the unconscious and cognitive thought where i flat-line and remain in oblivion. yet somehow this helps. its my own coping mechanism of just getting a piece of peace. where i dont have to be bothered by a multitude of thoughts and ideas buzzing around in my head. so from now on i will embrace these moments, i will no longer resist or try to make sense of them... i will just slip into my own little universe away from the world, away from my troubles and demands... and thats where i will remain with no trivial thoughts to bother me.

hiro

heroes. i love you. please come back. we were loyal. i hate the internet. i hate the scams. i hate that advertisements, false promotions, scams, and all sorts of life sucking leeches have free reign of our cyberspace universe.
bree. you are incapable of failure. its impossible. if you failed then the world would turn on its end in a topsy-turvey confusion. haha love you
alyse. you are getting hitched. im fine with it. "i cant wait until we are married" ha
two minutes. thanks itunes for coming through... you only asked for our virginity and our first born... haha

knock yourself out haha

I read this the other day in a wonderful book that tawny gave me. It knocked my socks off.. haha seriously though. Not only was this passage a complete answer to prayer but it is so inspirational to me. The simplicity of this is outstanding. That literally all of these blessings can be attained by having the spirit with you. Having it live within you and manifest itself in these ways. This is everything that i want. its so simple. thats why i love this gospel so much.

In the words of Parley P. Pratt, we begin to grasp the powerful impact of the gift of the Holy Ghost in our lives. “It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands, and purifies all the natural passions and affections and adapts them by the gift of wisdom to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates, and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings, and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity. It develops beauty of person, form, and features. It tends to health, vigor, animation, and social feelings. It invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens and gives tone to the nerves. In short it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being.”

BBY

This past week i was a counselor at the BE THE BEST YOU GIRLS CAMP. wow. no words. i had ten thirteen year olds and i love each and every one of them so much. it was such an amazing week. i learned and grew so much. I learned that i am nothing without the Lord, i learned to rely on him and his spirit. I learned that the holy ghost and a connection to Christ can really transform you and i saw it blossom in these girls. they helped me so much and i loved them like little sisters. i will miss them so much. they are such great examples to me. they are strong and courageous spirits that just shine.